Story Time Part 2

So, I've been getting a lot of shoot interviews once and I want to share a great story from an interview with the Honky Tonk Man and Raven.

They were talking about Ronnie P. Gosset and a phone call that Nick Gulas receieved one day from a lady asking about why she hadn't recieved a check from last week's show. Gulas is like "What are you talking about?". She that she had bought the territory, that she was in the wrestling business and wanted her money. Gulas was exasperated. "What the fuck you talking about? How'd you buy it?" and she goes "I bought it from Ronnie P. Gosset." And Gulas just loses it, goes "GODDAMN THAT FUCKIN GOSSET" and slammed down the phone. Yes, Gossett sold Gulas' territory. That was just really damn funny to me.

Story Time Part 1

So, I was trying to watch the new American Gladiators and I couldn't. As a big fan of the original, I gave the new one a shot and 20 minutes into the show, I had to turn it off. There was too much bullshit. The Gladiators were miced and talking to the contenders. They did that before in the first season and it stopped very quickly. There was a good reason for that. There was also too much whoredom overall. I had no interest in looking at the Subway Gladiator Stats. Hulk Hogan can't MC at all. He's still cutting promos and working the crowd. Layla Ali may be a very talented athlete but she can't MC either. She can dance, she can knock you the fuck out, but she cannot interview you sensably.

But it reminded me of one of the best offshoots of the action sports shows of the 1990's. And no it was Battle Dome. Although I swear one of the current Gladiators was a Dome Warrior. Anyway, it was Nickleodeon Guts. What better than a bunch of akward 12 year-olds participating in akward sporting events while being screamed at by a coked-out Mike O'Malley. I'll tell you waht would be better... Gary Busey hosting a revival. Except he gets the coke this time. We'd call it Gary Busey Yells At Your Kids and it would be brilliant. They'd do that bungie cord basketball dunk game and Gary would hook up as well, reecting kid after kid screaming "Not in my house you little shit!!". They'd get to the Aggro Crag (you remember that?) and he be up top belloing something about bunnies and ice cream until the first kid's hand grabs the ledge and he'd stomp on it and cackle as they tumbled down. They'd try to award the winner, who by now would be bleeding with a black eye, a chunk of the Crag and Gary'd take a bat to their knees, steal the rock, then sprint with it back to his little corner of the studio where he keeps all of the trophies he's stolen. Then he pulls out his pistol and starts guarding his loot. Yeah, that'd be great.

Somehow, I think we've been here before...

And yes we have. So I now officially reside at home, for the first time in like 4 years and it's quite an adjustment. It's just after midnight on the east coast and I'm the only thing moving in the house. Even the dogs have passed out for the night. Also, there's really no room for me here. I'm sleeping on what used to be my platform bed but has been used as a couch since I've been gone, so it's really just a box spring with a futon mattress on top of it. It's pretty much sleeping on the floor. Not to mention the fact that there's no room for any of my stuff. It took me 2 hours of cleaning to get a spot to put the computer and all my clothes... well they're out in the sun room. Getting dressed is even a task anymore. I don't know where any of my things are, I was here over a week before I could even shave since I couldn't find a razor. All I can say is that I cannot wait for August. Just over 2 months from now I'll be packing up again and leaving for good. This time taking off across the state in pursuit of a Masters. That's really the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm away from everything I've known for the past 6 years. Places, friends, everything. I hate Toledo. There is no walking anywhere. There is no short trip. Everything that was easy in BG is a fucking planed out trek up here. I hate it.

On a more uplifting note, things couldn't be better in the relationship department. Ok, there's one way things could be better. We could live in the same area code. Yet, despite the prospect of the next two years being a long distance relationship, things feel stronger than ever. We exchanged those three words this past weekend. It felt different than any other time I've said it to a woman. As opposed to the last person I said it to, I actually mean it. I can't explain it exactly, but it's like floating on air. I'm making my first trek east to see her tomorrow. With a new car, I'm not scared to make the drive. I'm just kinda scared of staying there overnight. It is her parents' place after all. And she is, of her own admittance, daddy's little girl. Usually, daddy has a certain feeling towards the guy who is sleeping in the same bed as daddy's little girl and I really don't need any more scars thank you very much. It should be fine, he seemed pretty cool when we met so I'm hoping that I don't end up duct-taped to a chair in some dark basement somewhere in Cleveland with some guy in a butcher's apron with a pain of pliers in one hand and a blowtorch in the other...

And so, I'd like to propose a toast to the caterers. And to the pigeon who crapped on the groom's family's limousine. As for the rest of you around this table not directly related to me... you can sod off. I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat.

Listening to CD's At Work

I am, in fact listening to random CD's at work and digging through the database for songs I haven't heard in forever. All told, I'm happy that our cluster has so much David Bowie but their "Indie" section is a joke. Anywho, I'm doing the normal month between posts but I know that will be changing within the next few weeks, seeing that I'm doing something that I never imagined that I'd have to do... moving back into my parent's house. It's only for a few months, but still at the age of 24 I figured that that is one place which I wouldn't be again. I thought I left for good the summer before my junior year (part 1) of college. Again, it's nothing against my parents. I love them very much and can't explain how grateful I am to have a place to live and save up cash for a few months before heading to Kent State. It's just... there's somethings about my live that are gonna change. They are not used to people being awake at 3am, etc. Not to mention that I really don't want to leave BG. It's been my home for the past 6 years and I was comfortable. But that's how I got into trouble in the first place, so it's good to leave but at the same time I don't wanna go. Then again, I won't be gone long. In fact, most likely I'll only be gone like 4 days a week during the school year.

So most recently I've been dealing with the thoughts of leaving a life I've spent the last 6 years building and all the friends that will still be here and that's a bit of a downer even though I keep telling lyself that I'm moving to make things better. And that I need to lay off the extremly long run-on sentances. That and I finally find someone, and fall for her(...really hard) and we make for opposite sides of the state. She moved home for the summer as undergrads are want to do, and then we're gonna overlap by at the most like two weeks in the fall before she moves back here. So I walked into a situation where this was an inevitability... I'm ok with that. I learned long ago that I can't let past experiances and problems make decisions for me in regards to current experiances. That made little sense to me and I wrote the damn thing, let me attempt to expand. I learned long ago that I cannot allow what happened in the past to color my judgement for a situation now. I may have been burned in the past in a long distance relationship, but this is a completly different set of circumstances now. Different people, different places. It's not the fear of history repeating itself that has bummed me out. It's really just the whole thought that "Shit, you left this afternoon and things will never be the same again."

Unless this thing goes the very long haul, the last few months (as great as they've been) won't be happening again. It's a permanent long distance deal from here on out. I've got two years at Kent, she's got three left at BG then wherever things take her from there. But this girl is worth all the effort and stress that living 3 hours apart can bring and more. She's worth all the crap and jokes etc. that I've been getting and will get. And I realize that I may be gushing a little too much for someone I've been with for 3 months, but it's how I am and I admit it. I'm a hopeless romantic who falls quick and hard and I usually get myself hurt quite easily. But I accept that about myself. I'm the kid that poked the bee hive with a stick. Over and over again...

Before I get out of the way for the real estate show next hour, I shall post a short playlist of stuff that I found in the computer here at work. This is how I speand my Sunday mornings...

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss - PM Dawn

One Night in Bangcock - Murray Head

Wasteland - 10 Years

Because The Night - 10,000 Maniacs

Planet Rock - Afrika Bambaataa

Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire

Tha Crossroads - Bone Thugs N' Harmony

Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes

Have You Seen Her - The Chi-Lights

Wasting My Time - Default

Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes - Elvis Costello

Watching The Detectives

Peace Love and Understanding

Everyday I Write The Book

Pump It Up

Accidents Will Happen

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Radio, Radio

Oliver's Army

I kinda got stuck at Elvis Costello. I'm sure I'll do this again next weekend...

Because I'm an asshole...

An Idiot's Guide to Wrestlemania: Part V A New Beginning

Wrestlemania 2000 - April 2, 2000

Main Event: Triple H vs. The Big Show vs. The Rock vs. Mick Foley in a fatal four-way elimination match for the WWE Championship

- A McMahon in every corner and a heel at the pay window. That's pretty much the memorable thing about this match. Vince, Linda, Shane, and Stephanie were all backing their chosen charges (Vince - The Rock, Linda - Foley, Shane - Big Show, and Stephanie - Triple H) and for the time in the sixteen year history of the event, a heel was victorious in the main event. Foley also botched a dive off of the second rope onto the announcer's table. Instead of dropping an elbow on a prone Show, he drove himself sternum-first into the edge of the table, a screw-up the Foley himself would point out later.

Wrestlemania Moment: Triangle Ladder Match spots (Hardys vs. Dudleys vs. Edge and Christian)

- I don't think anyone will ever be able to forget the shot of Jeff Hardy delivering a Swanton Bomb in the aisle off a twenty-foot ladder.

Match of the Night: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit in a two-fall triple threat match for the WWE European and Intercontinental titles

- I really can't say enough about this masterpiece of a triple threat, a match that usually sucks by nature. Angle lost both titles, despite not losing either fall as three of the best athletes in the company shined.

Wrestlemania X-Seven "Houston... We Have a Problem" - April 1, 2001

Main Event: The Rock vs. Steve Austin in a No-DQ match for the WWE Championship

- Austin takes the belt off The Rock for the 2nd time in a Mania main event, this time with the help of his most hated rival: Mr. McMahon. The match was a solid 28 minute brawl that was typical of an Austin/Rock battle marked by Austin's turn.

Wrestlemania Moment: Gimmick Battle Royal

- Twenty of the biggest characters of the 80's and 90's were assembled in one ring. Yes, it was a comedy match mostly, but it was fun and that's the base of Wrestlemania is.

Match of the Night: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

- A grudge match between the best wrestlers in the company. They spent of the first 5 minutes of the match going back and forth in an amateur battle with multiple escapes on both sides. 14 minutes of wrestling gold.

Wrestlemania X-8 "The One and Only" - March 17, 2002

Main Event: Chris Jericho vs Triple H for the Undisputed WWE Championship

- Months after becoming the frist American undisputed champion in over 60 years, Jericho dropped the titles to The Game in the culmination of a journey back from a devastating quad injury the previous June.

Wrestlemania Moment: The Hulk Hogan/Rock showdown

- The faceoff at the beginning of their match was simply spine-tingling. The best of the previous generation against the best of the new generation in an electrically charged moment.

Match of the Night: The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair in a no-DQ match.

- Two legends beat the dog out of each other in a brutal duel.

Wrestlemania XIX "Dare to Dream" - March 30, 2003

Main Event: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

- If you put aside Lesnar's suicide attempt (botched shooting star press that left him with a concussion and nearly a broken neck), this was still one of the best matches in a long time and the peak of Lesnar's career.

Wrestlemania Moment: McMahon's bloody smirk during his street fight against Hulk Hogan

- In the match, McMahon was busted open by Hogan and at one point he was tossed from the ring. He went looking for something underneath the ring and when he found it, he slowly crept up over the apron, face covered in blood, with a sick smirk on his face.

Match of the Night: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

-The Rock gets the last word on the Rock/Austin WM feud in a classic that will be remembered as Austin's final match.

Wrestlemania XX "Where it All Begins...Again" - March 14, 2004

Main Event: Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit for the World Heavyweight Championship

- Benoit's 14 year journey to the main event culminated here in the best triple threat match in years. 25 minutes of wrestling gold which ended with Triple H submitting in dramatic fashion in the Crippler Crossface.

Wrestlemania Moment: Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero celebrate with their titles at the end of the show

- At the time, this was a magical moment. The two best friends in the ring together, both World Champions, in the ring, closing the biggest event to date in American wrestling history. Now, it is a sad celebration that is a sobering reminder of tragedy. It has been nearly a year, but I still cannot watch Benoit celebrate in the ring with his wife and son. The DVD gets stopped now right after the submission.

Match of the Night: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

- These two worked brilliantly together and the finish is a classic. Angle gets Eddie in the anklelock, Eddie gets to the ropes and flings Angle to the outside and unlaces his book to "help the swelling in his ankle" from the anklelock. Angle storms back in and slaps the lock back on and Eddie wriggles out of the submission, leaving Kurt with an empty boot and a bewildered look. He advances on Eddie and gets small packaged to allow Eddie to escape with the title. Just brilliant stuff.

Wrestlemania 21 "Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood" - April 3, 2005

Main Event: Triple H vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship

- A rather average main event marked by Batista ascention to the title.

Wrestlemania Moment: Steve Austin on Piper's Pit

- Am I a Piper mark or am I a Piper mark? Doesn't matter, just watch this and recieve ten minutes of pure entertainment.

Match of the Night: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

- A wrestling classic that is only outdone by the Iron Man Match at XII in terms of sheer athleticism and wrestling accumen. Many, many, many consider this the best match of 2005 and an early candidate for the best match of the 2000's.

Wrestlemania 22 "Big Time" - April 2, 2006

Main Event: John Cena vs. Triple H for the WWE Championship

- Again, a really average main event, especally for Wrestlemania. I'm not a fan of Cena at all so my opinion may be tainted a little bit...

Wrestlemania Moment: Rey Misterio's celebration after winning the World Heavyweight Championship

- The little guy finally made it to the top. It really was a touching celebration because of his closeness with the Guerrero family. The sad thing is that Eddie's death is the only reason that this moment was ever possible.

Match of the Night: Edge vs. Mick Foley in a hardcore match

- One of the best hardcore matches that the WWE has ever done. Edge stepped up his game big time to get up to Foley and Foley proved that he could still step on that stage and give an amazing performance every once in awhile. The flaming finish still makes me shudder.

Wrestlemania 23 "All Grown Up" - April 1, 2007

Main Event: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWE Championship

- Michaels can make anyone look good. To his credit, Cena looked much better this year as opposed to WM 22. The best main event of the last 3 years.

Wrestlmania Moment: Mr. MacMahon shaved bald by Donald Trump and Bobby Lashley

- After nearly a decade as the evil Chairman, McMahon finally got his in the ultimate payoff.

Match of the Night: Money in the Bank match featurning Mr. Kennedy, Edge, CM Punk, King Booker, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Randy Orton

- The specticle that only a match of the set-up can deliver. Yes it was a spot fest, but damn what a spot fest. Jeff Hardy dropping a leg on Edge through a ladder bridging the ring apron and barrier, Kennedy hits the Green Bay Plunge on Hornswoggle from the top rope... just damn.

Wrestlemania XIV "The Biggest Wrestlmania Under The Sun" - March 30, 2008

Main Event: The Undertaker vs. Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship

- 16-0, 16-0, 16-0!

Wrestlemania Moment: JBL hucks a trash can at Hornswoggle

- I know I'm a douche, but that was too damn funny.

Match of the Night: Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair for Flair's career

- It didn't matter that we all knew what was going to happen or that Ric didn't look as good as he has in the past, this was Flair's night and these two stole the show. It's one of those moments where the line between work and real life was blurred and was just an emotional and incredible match.

Whew, that was only like a week and half late. We will return to regular programming in the very near future.

An Idiot's Guide to Wrestlemania, Part IV: Oblivion

So what if I'm a few days behind?

Wrestlemania XIV "dX Raided" - March 29, 1998

Main Event: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin for the WWE Championship

- The official turn of the WWE into the "Attitude" era. The leader of the "New Generation", who was experianced and ready to step up into wrestling's biggest spot, against the guy that epitomized "Attitude", making the most of his biggest moment to date. The match was a very solid main event, and more impressive if you know that Michaels was wrestling with two herniated disks in his back, one of those completely crushed. We've mentioned in the past about torch-passing matches at WM IV, VI, and XII and this is one of those. Mike Tyson was the special enforcer, who ended up counting the fall on Michaels, despite being a member of DX at the time. It is high up on the list of hard-fought, well-worked matches in WM history.

Wrestlemania Moment: Kane Tombstones Pete Rose and The Undertaker's entrance

- These two events became running occurances in future Wrestlemanias. Rose came out to ring announce, slammed the Boston fans over the Red Sox curse, and recieved the Tombstone for his troubles. Taker made is grand entrance, flanked by a line of torch-bearing druids on either side of the aisle. It's hard to describe it with words, it really is something to be seen and experianced. Yes, it is the theatrical side of the business but it is the theatrics at their very best.

Match of the Night: The Undertaker vs. Kane

- The initial culmination of the brother vs. brother feud that started in October at Badd Blood. The two big men beat the dog out of each other and it was really well done in as much as Kane's invincibility was so played up that it took 3 Tombstones to finally put him away. The Undertaker's was also on display as Kane would beat on his older brother and Taker kept sitting up and kept sitting up. I may just be an Undertaker mark, but it was the best story told all night.

Wrestlemania XV "The Ragin' Climax" - March 28, 1999

Main Event: Steve Austin vs. The Rock (Part I) for the WWE Championship

- The Rock was the Corporate Champion, being Vince's chosen one for the last half of 1998 and winning the title at the Survivor Series in a 16-man tournament, even if the path was lightened for him. Austin was climbing the ladder once more, after having the belt screwed off of him by Mr. McMahon in October, continuing the hottest feud of the year (Austin vs. McMahon). Austin won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot and defeated McMahon in a cage match at St. Valentine's Day Massacre to defend that shot. The two engaged in a brutal, physical battle that would be the signature of their feud. Austin took the duke and the belt, but the seeds for a years-long feud had been sown.

Wrestlemania Moment: The Undertaker hangs Big Bossman from the Hell in the Cell

- Not a memorable match, but the post-match activities but an exclamation point on the Minestry vs. Corporation battles. A creepy and eerie scene to be sure.

Match of the Night: Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac for the WWE European Title

- I know what your thinking, but really this was a good match and what it did for the Corporate storyline made it even better. Shane retained after Triple H turned on X-Pac and DX (which had pretty much run it's course by then) for the Corporate team by Pedigreeing X-Pac, starting an intense feud with the remaning members of DX.

A short one tonight, I'm at work and actually now have things to do (which is a change). I'll try to finish by the end of the week.