Somehow, I think we've been here before...

And yes we have. So I now officially reside at home, for the first time in like 4 years and it's quite an adjustment. It's just after midnight on the east coast and I'm the only thing moving in the house. Even the dogs have passed out for the night. Also, there's really no room for me here. I'm sleeping on what used to be my platform bed but has been used as a couch since I've been gone, so it's really just a box spring with a futon mattress on top of it. It's pretty much sleeping on the floor. Not to mention the fact that there's no room for any of my stuff. It took me 2 hours of cleaning to get a spot to put the computer and all my clothes... well they're out in the sun room. Getting dressed is even a task anymore. I don't know where any of my things are, I was here over a week before I could even shave since I couldn't find a razor. All I can say is that I cannot wait for August. Just over 2 months from now I'll be packing up again and leaving for good. This time taking off across the state in pursuit of a Masters. That's really the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm away from everything I've known for the past 6 years. Places, friends, everything. I hate Toledo. There is no walking anywhere. There is no short trip. Everything that was easy in BG is a fucking planed out trek up here. I hate it.

On a more uplifting note, things couldn't be better in the relationship department. Ok, there's one way things could be better. We could live in the same area code. Yet, despite the prospect of the next two years being a long distance relationship, things feel stronger than ever. We exchanged those three words this past weekend. It felt different than any other time I've said it to a woman. As opposed to the last person I said it to, I actually mean it. I can't explain it exactly, but it's like floating on air. I'm making my first trek east to see her tomorrow. With a new car, I'm not scared to make the drive. I'm just kinda scared of staying there overnight. It is her parents' place after all. And she is, of her own admittance, daddy's little girl. Usually, daddy has a certain feeling towards the guy who is sleeping in the same bed as daddy's little girl and I really don't need any more scars thank you very much. It should be fine, he seemed pretty cool when we met so I'm hoping that I don't end up duct-taped to a chair in some dark basement somewhere in Cleveland with some guy in a butcher's apron with a pain of pliers in one hand and a blowtorch in the other...

And so, I'd like to propose a toast to the caterers. And to the pigeon who crapped on the groom's family's limousine. As for the rest of you around this table not directly related to me... you can sod off. I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat.