Listening to CD's At Work

I am, in fact listening to random CD's at work and digging through the database for songs I haven't heard in forever. All told, I'm happy that our cluster has so much David Bowie but their "Indie" section is a joke. Anywho, I'm doing the normal month between posts but I know that will be changing within the next few weeks, seeing that I'm doing something that I never imagined that I'd have to do... moving back into my parent's house. It's only for a few months, but still at the age of 24 I figured that that is one place which I wouldn't be again. I thought I left for good the summer before my junior year (part 1) of college. Again, it's nothing against my parents. I love them very much and can't explain how grateful I am to have a place to live and save up cash for a few months before heading to Kent State. It's just... there's somethings about my live that are gonna change. They are not used to people being awake at 3am, etc. Not to mention that I really don't want to leave BG. It's been my home for the past 6 years and I was comfortable. But that's how I got into trouble in the first place, so it's good to leave but at the same time I don't wanna go. Then again, I won't be gone long. In fact, most likely I'll only be gone like 4 days a week during the school year.

So most recently I've been dealing with the thoughts of leaving a life I've spent the last 6 years building and all the friends that will still be here and that's a bit of a downer even though I keep telling lyself that I'm moving to make things better. And that I need to lay off the extremly long run-on sentances. That and I finally find someone, and fall for her(...really hard) and we make for opposite sides of the state. She moved home for the summer as undergrads are want to do, and then we're gonna overlap by at the most like two weeks in the fall before she moves back here. So I walked into a situation where this was an inevitability... I'm ok with that. I learned long ago that I can't let past experiances and problems make decisions for me in regards to current experiances. That made little sense to me and I wrote the damn thing, let me attempt to expand. I learned long ago that I cannot allow what happened in the past to color my judgement for a situation now. I may have been burned in the past in a long distance relationship, but this is a completly different set of circumstances now. Different people, different places. It's not the fear of history repeating itself that has bummed me out. It's really just the whole thought that "Shit, you left this afternoon and things will never be the same again."

Unless this thing goes the very long haul, the last few months (as great as they've been) won't be happening again. It's a permanent long distance deal from here on out. I've got two years at Kent, she's got three left at BG then wherever things take her from there. But this girl is worth all the effort and stress that living 3 hours apart can bring and more. She's worth all the crap and jokes etc. that I've been getting and will get. And I realize that I may be gushing a little too much for someone I've been with for 3 months, but it's how I am and I admit it. I'm a hopeless romantic who falls quick and hard and I usually get myself hurt quite easily. But I accept that about myself. I'm the kid that poked the bee hive with a stick. Over and over again...

Before I get out of the way for the real estate show next hour, I shall post a short playlist of stuff that I found in the computer here at work. This is how I speand my Sunday mornings...

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss - PM Dawn

One Night in Bangcock - Murray Head

Wasteland - 10 Years

Because The Night - 10,000 Maniacs

Planet Rock - Afrika Bambaataa

Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire

Tha Crossroads - Bone Thugs N' Harmony

Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes

Have You Seen Her - The Chi-Lights

Wasting My Time - Default

Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes - Elvis Costello

Watching The Detectives

Peace Love and Understanding

Everyday I Write The Book

Pump It Up

Accidents Will Happen

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Radio, Radio

Oliver's Army

I kinda got stuck at Elvis Costello. I'm sure I'll do this again next weekend...