Blog Backlog - August 17, 2008

-Since arriving here at Kent State, I have been unable to procure internet in my hote...er, apartment. Even though I've been here for two weeks. But I have been writing so I'll repost these posts I wrote while I was sitting in a Netless room. I'm still netless, but being able to get onto the university's network while in the student center helps...-


Finally Alone – August 17, 2008
So I am finally here at Kent State and for the first time, I am really alone. I moved in relatively hassle-free on Friday and have taken up residence in a hotel. It'll take some time to get used to it and I can't bring myself to call it “my apartment”. It's “my room”. It's kinda like being in the dorms again, except that the rest of the floor is a couple of families and some random people instead of a bunch of really cool students. Julie's been here the entire weekend and we've been trying to set things up around here. Having her around has really made this easier. It's really the first time that I've been away from home. Yes, I know that's something that most people do at 18 or 19, but I really didn't. I didn't worry about leaving home because I was only 20 minutes away and I was always in the area, still working in Toledo. Not so much now. There is no easy drive home.
There were two things that happened over the weekend that really are worth mentioning because they are milestones, so to speak. First of all, and most dramatically, my dad and I hugged. I know, I know, why is this so dramatic? Happens all the time. Well, with him it doesn't. He even seemed a little unnerved by it when I gestured, but its something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I don't think it's something that's happened since he was going through the divorce so it's been, God, like 15 years now. I just hope that he got that it meant something. Second, Julie and I went out on Saturday in search of things for the apartment and while shopping there was just something that struck me. Grocery shopping with your significant other doesn't really seem like there's much significance to it, but I really saw us in a different light. We've been together for 6 months now and I had had the thought that this is something that could really last before this, but doing the most routine of tasks with her and enjoying it, just having a good time with each other, hammered home that this is something that really can last. I have been trying to keep emotions at bay for awhile because she is younger and in a different space right now. Not that I'm saying I want marriage right now, but she's still going through undergrad and you know, in a different space. Again, neither of us is looking for something that big but this serious and committed and there was just something about that afternoon. And now that I've had time to think about it, I know what that was. I realized that I'm in love deep and that stopped scaring me.